Metro Delivery: Victim of Internet Penguin Larceny
Presto the Penguin, beloved mascot of Metro Delivery, was briefly kidnapped and taken across state lines for nefarious purposes!
Here’s the background: for years, we’ve been fielding the occasional phone call from people around the State of Arizona, regarding a notice of failed delivery left on their door by a “Metro Delivery.”
They reach us because we’re the at the top of the Google Searches for Metro Delivery. We always tell those people that we operate out of Michigan, and it must be another, unaffiliated “Metro Delivery” that they’re looking for.
We don’t operate in Arizona, though we’re licensed for deliveries there if called upon to do so. And that is also what we told the Arizona Attorney General’s Office when they started calling up regarding complaints they’d received about this other “Metro Delivery.” -it’s not us, Arizona Attorney General.
Arizona’s a long way from Michigan, so we paid all of this little mind.
Then two weeks ago we were Googling ourselves, the way internet-savvy businesses do nowadays, and we discover that this other “Metro Delivery” has set up a clumsy, amateurish website, (metrodeliveryDOTorg as opposed to our legitimate metrodelivery.com)- and look! It features our own logo from the photos on our facebook page, with the stylish “METRO” logo designed by Graphic Artist Judy Stopke, and Presto the Penguin as rendered by Sebastian, our Business Development Manager.
Here’s a screenshot of their technologically-impaired site, featuring our Purloined Penguin posed ironically next to the phrase: ” Metro Delivery Practices High Ethical and Professional Practices.”
OK, now they had our undivided attention.
Other highlights from their website:
- There’s no mailing or physical address listed for their business, there’s no phone number listed for their business, just a couple blocky email contact forms, which is a heck of a way to run a delivery business.
- They don’t know how to spell “Perishable.”
- Their company slogan: “Where Affordability and Great Customer Service Goes Hand-in Hand” would be awkward even if the grammar wasn’t wrong.
- The website is registered under what appears to be a false phone number, which belongs to a cosmetics representative in Massachusetts, or something.
And we looked around on the internet and we found this thread, which provides much speculation about the activity of these jokers. Sheesh. Honestly, we don’t want to know.
On the advice of our attorney, we sent them this message through their blocky email forms:
“Hi There! We’re Metro Delivery of Ann Arbor Michigan. Kindly immediately cease and desist use of our proprietary logo featuring the penguin, which you took from our legitimate Metro Delivery Facebook page for use on your extremely suspicious .org website.”
…and within 24 hours our penguin was released, replaced by a small map of Arizona and the catchy phrase: “Ve Service the Entire Sta”.
…So apparently they got the message.
We hope this blog entry serves as an official notice that we here at Metro Delivery of Ann Arbor not only are completely unaffiliated with the alleged Metro Delivery of Arizona, but further, that we view their activities with disapproval and extreme suspicion. There’s something pretty sneaky going on there in the Sunshine State.
Thankfully, now, Presto the Penguin is safely back here at our offices in Michigan, enjoying a nice warm cup of herring soup and recovering from this harrowing experience. What kind of people would take a poor little penguin to Arizona, of all places, anyway?
HAPPY HOLIDAYS from Metro Delivery
Select Metro Vehicles are fitted with FESTIVE WREATHS for the season.
Prepare for Bridgageddon
The good news is, starting right after Thanksgiving Weekend, They’ll finally be doing much-needed construction on the Ol’ Stadium Boulevard Bridges that are crumbling over State Street and the railroad between Main Street and South Industrial.
The bad news is, there’s no good alternate route through that area.
The bad news is also that the route will be closed for just under a year, because it’s just that much construction.
For more information and suggested (though not good) alternate routes, here’s the project website.
Those bridges have been standing there since 1928,and evidently they’ve had it UP TO HERE with the traffic, already.
October’s Raffle Winner!
“Rockin’ Robbie” of Romulus was the winner of Metro Delivery’s Trivia Contest in October, correctly answering the question: “Where is the world’s largest limestone quarry?”
with the correct answer of “Rogers City, Michigan.”
A $50 Busch’s Gift Card was hand-delivered by an Actual Metro Delivery Driver, to commemorate the event.
Congratulations, Robbie, and keep on Rockin’!
It’s kind of like a do-it-yourself Grand Canyon.
Vehicle Image Committee Goes Overboard
We wanted to improve the message conveyed on our conveyances, so that potential clients would realize the vast menu of delivery services we have available.
With 45 vehicles constantly circulating all around Southeast Michigan and beyond, the text and graphics on our vehicles provide us with a powerful marketing tool.
Still, we can’t help but think we could go too far… 
The Metro Delivery Purple Heart is Awarded to:
…The noble if impulsive Clyde, who was critically injured in the line of duty, charging through a plate-glass door to protect Metro President Sarah Talbot from the UPS Guy.
The UPS Guy was observed by Clyde approaching Clyde’s Domain in what Clyde perceived to be a suspicious manner. And so Clyde figured he’d better take care of him.
We hasten to note that the UPS Guy was unhurt, just unhappily surprised at the near-mortally wounded dog crashing to his feet in a shower of glass.*
We have explained to Clyde that he really doesn’t need to defend us from other Delivery Companies, although we appreciate that he’s willing, if necessary, to sacrifice even to the point of severing arteries and tendons and requiring tourniquets and emergency trips to surgery, and all that.
Clyde is expected to be healed up by Christmas, so Santa Claus might want to plan his approach on Clyde’s house carefully.
*The UPS Guy will henceforth be dropping and picking up all of the President’s packages at a less exciting location: the Pet Shop up the street.
Driver Pictures from the Road: Tim’s Missourable Rest Stop
Sadly, we rarely have time to pause for photo opportunities when we’re moving something crucial interstate, so we appreciate that Tim took advantage of his pit stop to document a Metro vehicle in Missouri.
And look! Isn’t that the St. Louis Arch?
KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE WHEEL, TIM!
Yes, that was the Arch, all right. Well, that was something to see.
…and we’re moving on!
Maybe We Need a Latitude Adjustment
We hear that the Great Lakes Region is supposed to expect an unusually “Brutal” Winter this year, according to Accuweather.
You know, somebody* forecasts that every year for us, though. We’ve begun to suspect that Winter happens almost annually around Michigan.
*previous dire predictions have been offered by the Farmer’s Almanac, NOAA, wooly caterpillars, Aunt Gladys with her rheumatism, etc.
Our Most Exotic Delivery
We posted these pictures a few months ago on our Facebook, but we like them so much we wanted to add them to the blog here, as well.
Last Summer, we transported a truckload of exotic African Animal heads & trophies to be auctioned off from the estate of some Old-School Big-Game Hunter… it was an unusual and delicate load, indeed, but not a whisker was ruffled, not an antler went awry in transport.
You Can See the Whole State from Here
We love this interactive map of Michigan, available through the Michigan Department of Transportation website. You can zoom in and view real-time traffic conditions all over Michigan! Useful and entertaining, both.