The story of Pheidippides inspires us here at Metro Delivery, as it has inspired millions of other messengers over the past 2,503 years or so…

Pheidippides, a herald, was sent off running, all 26 miles and  385 yards from the Greek City Marathon to Athens, to announce the first victory of the Greeks over the invading Persians, at the Battle of Marathon in 490 BC.

Yes, yes, this is where we get that “Marathon” thing that all your runner friends talk about- but that’s a secondary point for us here at Metro.  The point is, the dude was a COURIER, and as such, prepared to give his all. 

After proclaiming victory to the joyful crowd at the Acropolis (“Nike!” he gasped, forming a shoe company), he expired, tragically, from the exertion. That’s one sad version of the story (weeps).

In another variation, from Herodotus, Pheidippides completes a much more impressive feat of the feet, running round trip from Athens to Sparta and back again to request aid from the Spartans from the invading Persians. That story has him running around 145 miles over two days. The Spartans don’t actually get around to sending any aid and the Athenians have to handle the Persians themselves, but this more robust Pheippides does not die from the run. 

Robert Browning, in his 1879 hit poem “Pheidippides,” tells a story that’s a popular confluence of events. Pheidippides runs from Athens to Sparta and back again, then actually fights in the battle of Marathon, and THEN runs from Marathon to the Acropolis in Athens to announce the victory and dies. That’s a total mileage of around 171 miles, and you know there weren’t any folding tables of Gatorade along the way.

Browning’s and Herodotus’s versions also feature a guest appearance by the Goat-God Pan, who Pheidippides happens across enroute from Sparta back to Athens, and who is persuaded to assist the Athenians, since the Spartans are of no immediate help.

Pan indicates his willingness to back the Athenians by handing Pheidippides a handful of fennel, a good portent for the battle, as the Greek word for fennel is Marathon. (Goat-Gods prefer metaphor to just plain saying something, as a general rule.)

So what do we, as messengers, learn from Pheidippides? First, we admire his resolution and dedication, and the sacrifice that he was prepared to make to see that his noble duty was fulfilled.

Secondarily, we recognize that if he really DID run himself to death, his dispatcher probably should have figured out a way to get the poor guy a lunch hour, and we have to suspect that under hours-of-service regulations the Athenians would probably be looking at some pretty steep fines…

Thirdly, they should have given Pheidippides an E250 van, like Metro Couriers drive, and then he could have carried a pallet or two of grapes and olives to drop to some other Greek city along the way, and improved his profit margin.