Metro Detroit Courier Tip: Name that Road
If you seek regional dialectical authenticity in your discussions of Detroit Roads & Freeways:
1. It’s not “I-75.” It’s the CHRYSLER FREEWAY if you’re motorvatin’ between Downtown Detroit and Pontiac, or the FISHER FREEWAY from Downtown Detroit on Downriver.
2. It’s not “I-94″ that goes East to Port Huron and West to Chicago. It’s the EDSEL FORD FREEWAY.
3. It’s not “I-96 ” that comes out of Downtown and heads for Brighton, Lansing and points West, It’s the JEFFRIES (alternately known as the ROSA PARKS for the 3 miles between Ford Rd. and the Fisher Freeway, more recently).
4. It’s not “I-696″ running parallel to 11 Mile Road between I-275 and the Edsel Ford, It’s the WALTER P. REUTHER FREEWAY.
5. It’s not “M-10.” It’s the JOHN C. LODGE.
6. It’s not “M-8.” It’s the DAVISON.
7. It’s not “M-39.” It’s the SOUTHFIELD FREEWAY.
…and don’t let anyone hear you referring to TELEGRAPH ROAD as US-24, or they’ll know you’re a tourist and try to scare you with tales of “Le Nain Rouge.”
Metro Detroit Courier Tip: North/South Street Formula
Another Public Service Announcement to our Couriers, and offered freely to the Public at Large:
Metro Detroit is laid out in a grid! The North/South Streets have consistent addresses!
Ancient Metro knowledge offers this simple 3-step formula for figuring the Mile road nearest an address on North/South Streets in Detroit, i.e. Schoenherr, Gratiot, Van Dyke, Mound, Livernois, Southfield, Telegraph, etc:
X-5000%2%1000
Example: Let’s say you wanted to go Vern Haney’s Restaurant for their famous “Centerline Cheese Soup.”
Vern Haney’s can be found at 244447 Van Dyke.
1. 24447 -5000=19447
2. 19447 %2 = 97235
3. 97235 %1000 =9.7235
…and indeed, you’ll soon be eating Cheese Soup in Vern Haney’s Family Restaurant, a classic diner in a building that once housed a Howard Johnson’s, between 9 and 10 mile road, a little closer to 10 Mile than 9 Mile (9.7).
…this formula was passed down from primeval Metro Drivers, who rode mastodons and did not have GPS devices leading them around like little electronic mommies.
Hypermiling Tips!
As a service announcement to all drivers, in your personal and company vehicles, Metro Delivery would like to offer the following tips on Hypermiling, i.e. driving to conserve gas. Studies have shown that extreme hypermilers can use up to 30-50% less gas than some lead-footed, Big-Gulp guzzling gashog.
So what can we do to use less gas?
1. A Red Light Need Not Be a Surprise: Look ahead to anticipate red lights, traffic backups and stop signs and coast to a stop instead of braking. Braking uses gas! If your vehicle has a stick shift, put it in neutral as you coast and when at a stop.
2. A Green Light is Not the Flag to Start the Race: Easy, gradual starts use much less gas than jackrabbit starts. Acceleration uses more gas than anything else you do in the vehicle. Plus, you’ll conserve the rubber on your tires instead of leaving it all over the asphalt.
3. Cruise Control is your Conservation Copilot: If your vehicle has the option, cruise control is terrific on long, relatively level roads. Maintaining a steady speed in general is great for conservation. However, in hilly regions Cruise Control is a clumsy, wasteful robot to leave in charge, so if you’re driving over the Porcupine Mountains you’d be better off without it.
4. Idling Vehicles are the Devil’s Tools: Oh, for goodness sake don’t leave the vehicle running if you can turn it off for a couple minutes. No dashing in while your truck chugs away at the curb, no sitting at the Chick Inn Drive In Restaurant waiting for your Paul Bunyan Burger in a running vehicle.
5. Look for Prime Parking: Ideally, park facing down a hill to use less energy while starting, and park in the sun so you use less energy getting the car warmed up.
6. Nobody Likes a Squishy Tire: Keep your tires at the maximum possible air pressure, which reduces the drag on the road. Also, watch for bad tire alignment and have it repaired, for the same reason.
7. Consider Walking Instead of Driving: Do you have two stops to make downtown that are several blocks apart? Walking instead of reparking could save you time as well as gas, especially considering how difficult it can be to find a parking space these days.
8. Open Windows in Town, a Little A/C on the Freeway: at high speeds, open windows kill your gas milage. If you don’t need A/C but you want some air circulation, leave windows open just an inch or so on the freeway, at most. Of course, for in-town driving, open windows are certainly better than running the air-conditioning, plus you get to share that great song you’re listening to on WDET with everybody on the sidewalk.
9. Plan Your Route: Strategize to make your stops in the most efficient way possible, with the least milage. Avoid rough roads with lots of potholes, take a level road instead of a hilly road if there’s an option, avoid areas with stop-and-go traffic. A couple of minutes of planning could save you a couple of quarts of gasoline.
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…Now, nobody expects Couriers in our “Hotshot” Business Model, where crucial things must abruptly be delivered in most any direction, sometimes hundreds of miles away, to have gas conservation as their top priority. The top priority is still HOLY JUMPIN’ SPIDERS GET THAT STUFF WHERE IT’S NEEDED, PRONTO!!!
Nevertheless, opportunities to reduce consumption of gas will present themselves, and if we keep these principles in mind and apply them when appropriate, as a company we’ll save thousands of gallons of gas, and we’ll all have less exhaust and more air to breathe.
Additionally, an informal office poll indicates that all of us here would like to see less of our company’s hard-earned revenue handed directly to BP, Exxon and Shell Oil, as admirable as those corporations are…(cough).
…And yes, we ARE looking into alternate-fuel vehicles, and we’ll revisit that subject here another time.
Thanks for your attention! We now return you to your normally scheduled deliveries.
Metro on a Yacht
No, it’s not the new vehicle for us to do our deliveries in.
The Detroit Regional Chamber had a reception yesterday down on the Riverfront by the Renaissance Center, and the Metro Business Development Manager put on his yachting cap and went to enjoy some snacks and the terrific view of the river, while making valuable business connections etc.
Thanks to the Detroit Regional Chamber for the event- it was a splendid time!
P.S. No, the Business Development Manager does not LITERALLY have a yachting cap. But if they keep having events on this boat he may have to get one eventually.
GREEN FAIR THIS EVENING! Prepare to be Environmentally Edified.
Metro Delivery will have a little booth goin’ at the ANN ARBOR GREEN FAIR tonight, 6-9 PM. C’mon down and see us!
Metro’s committed to doing the best we can to be green; we recycle ferociously, we keep our vehicles maintained for improved emissions, we reuse everything when possible, and we reduce our energy usage with initiatives like our no-idle policy, no disposable dishware, motion sensitive lighting in our offices, etc, etc.
Plus, the Business Development Manager hassles people relentlessly to consider biking to work like he does, with occasional success. It’s a lot of little things, but it adds up!
We’re a member of Washtenaw County’s Waste Knot organization, and we’re learning more all the time about exciting new ways we can continue to conserve our natural resources. It’s a real focus for us as we expand and improve our business.
Look for more Metro Green Projects in the future!
