The 2012 Ypsilanti Heritage Festival is this weekend, and Metro Delivery will be participating in the A2Y Chamber’s Corporate Duck Challenge for the first time ever. The A2Y Chamber provides a Plastic Decoy Duck to customize:
fig. 1: corporate duck
But they don’t give you a lot of design direction. After internal debate about how to decorate the duck, we had to send the following request to the A2Y Chamber for clarification:
Dear A2Y Chamber:
As we at Metro Delivery prepare to customize our Corporate Duck for the A2Y Chamber Corporate Duck Challenge at the Heritage Festival in Ypsilanti, questions have arisen about specific limitations that may be imposed on the project, hypothetically.
Is there any reason to believe the following enhancements may disqualify our duck?
1. Remote Control Engines or Propulsion Rockets
2. Trained Mice inside on a paddlewheel or rowing, galley-style
3. Proximity-Triggered machine guns and/or flamethrowers
4. The substitution of an actual duck for the plastic one provided
Although there is little likelihood that our final design will incorporate all or any of these accessories specifically, Metro Delivery’s Corporate Policy requires that we clearly define the extreme parameters of a challenge, in order to achieve best results- and to prepare defenses and contingencies, i.e. if a competing duck will be firing torpedoes, we may choose to armor our Corporate Duck’s undercarriage.
We look forward to the event on August 19th, and thank you and the A2Y Chamber for sponsoring and coordinating the Corporate Duck Challenge!
…the A2Y Chamber was quick to respond that motors and explosive devices were prohibited, which was a little disappointing.
Evidently any other modifications are fair game however, so we went with our TRUE SECRET PLAN: We replaced their Duck with our trained Company Penguin, Presto. Bet they never saw that coming.
fig. 2: corporate penguin
Extensive testing of his swimming ability was performed in the Metro Delivery kitchen, and Presto performed admirably.
fig.3: corporate penguin flotation test
As a coup de grâce we gave him a package to deliver to the finish line, as incentive.
fig 4: penguin, loaded.
Come on out to Riverside Park in Ypsilanti this Sunday 8/19/2012 to cheer for Metro’s duck! er, penguin! Race starts at 3:30 PM!
Race results next week! We think Presto will do great- unless the herring are running.
Presto, official penguin & mascot of Metro Delivery, would like to take this opportunity to welcome the new penguins in town, recently arrived from the defunct seabird exhibit at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago and currently chilling around 11 mile and Woodward.
Presto would like to assure the rockhoppers that they’ll find the Detroit Metro area to be a rockin’, hoppin’ and totally cool place to perch, and speaking of perch, he knows a terrific delivery company to deliver cratefuls of fish, if anyone’s feeling peckish after the long waddle from the West.
Metro Delivery caught by concealed camera! We’ve been seeing a lot of shocking “Candid Camera”-type videos of other delivery companies on the interwebs recently, so we decided to set up some surreptitious surveillance on a delivery by Metro; but we did not expect to see THIS.